Are You a Robot or a Person?

I was just asked the following question, "Does the decision of another person not affect you?" and I decided to explore my own thoughts with my blog. The first answer that came to my mind was, "Yes, it surely does." On the second thought I found out that the decisions of other people have usually affected me because I am not as strong as I want to be. It also affect me because we are all one, that means we are eternally connected by human fiber. That is why a single act of goodness is a blessing to the human family. And a single evil act makes the human family less human. This is not a mere grandiose statement. I truly believe that what it is. 

Exploring the idea further, I have an all together different set of opinions about it. I believe that you are primarily affected by your own thoughts, words and actions. When you think, speak and act pure, your life is pure.  When you entertain any impure thought, or speak unbecomingly, or act like a beast, then again your life will mirror just that. The truth in the adage is true: "You reap what you sow." 

You may ask, "OK, but people through their words and actions can ruin your life." That's right, too. They do this all the time. The question, however, is, "Do they ruin your life because they have power over you or is it because you gave them the power?" The world has plenty of examples to prove both sides of the argument. But I believe that if you choose to have power over yourself, i.e., if you have 'self-mastery', in thought, word and action, you will be surprised to find that people actually have less power over you. People's power over you is as much as you choose to give them. No one has power over the person who has power over himself. No one can ruin the person who has his life consciously in his own hands. 

You see the problem is you don't take full responsibility over your life. It is easy to be led than to make your own destiny. It is easy to blame others than to say I screwed my life myself. When 'they' are in charge of your life, then 'they' are free to do what they wish with it. 'They' can make you happy, or sad, or angry, or delighted, or depressed as they wish. But if you are in control of your life (which is to be in control of what you think, say and do), then you are the boss. Nobody can play with you pressing buttons like a robot toy. 

It is easy to change. It is tougher to keep the change consistently. This is how I think you should go about it. 

1. Make a DECISION never to be anyone's toy. Be ware not to be your parents', or your spouse's, or your friends' toy. 
2. Learn to CONTROL your thoughts since "act is the blossom of thought, and joy and suffering are its fruits."
3. DISCIPLINE yourself consistently until you become your own person in thought, word and act. 
4. When you FAIL to do so, as it will happen more frequently-especially the first few months, pick yourself up and move on taking your lessons from what happened. Keep on keeping on!

"MAN IS MADE OR UNMADE BY HIMSELF."

Principles

To be successful in life and to enjoy more of life, it's absolutely indispensable to have a set of principles as a guide. The principles need not be too many. They are only a few that we can't afford to break them. It happens that we don't live up to them. When this happens, they come to our rescue by reminding us of our priorities and set the whole course anew again. 

What does a life without principles like? It is like a plane without a pilot. Not only marked by the way it's flying, but it is also fatal to the passenger. Life without principles as a guide is like a plane without a pilot. It goes nowhere but crashes down destroying everyone and everything. It is also marked by the haphazard actions that fill it to its brim. 

Life when lived with principles is tough at the start. It is like anything worth doing. Then after much effort and labor it gets easier and becomes more enjoyable. Defeat is when you throw your principles out of the window believing it is impossible to follow them. If you persist to pass the most difficult phase of implementing them, then you will be shocked to find how easy it is to live by them. It is here that you start to reap the rich harvest they bring you. 

I believe this why Socrates said, "Unexamined life is not worth living." Formulating your principles call for a depth analysis of your personality, your strengths and weaknesses. It also helps you to take your life in your own hands so that you stop blaming other people and circumstances that are without. Your principles demand that you ACT instead of REACT to people or circumstances. They are statements of what you are going to do, rather than how you are going to REACT  to things that happen to you.

Now, take the next few minutes and write down your principles. Vow to yourself by placing your signature at the end of your principles that you will keep every one of your principles NO MATTER WHAT. The effect takes of immediately. You begin to BE the person you set out to be.

What You Actually Have Is You

Hey, everybody. It's been a while since I last posted something. Hopefully, I'll remain faithful to my blog from today on.

These days, one truth revealed itself to me in an excruciating manner that resembles labour. I finally came to accept that in the most painful moments of my life I am alone. At the moment where I need the loving presence of others, I'm alone to face life's beatings. No family or friend was able to penetrate my hurting heart to comfort it. I had literally to go through it all by myself. And I told myself that the only one I have is me.

This revelation is not some sort of egoistical isolation of oneself, nor some sort of self-pity. It is a hard fact unsurfaced by life's reality. I've been taught by life in the way that I could understand I've to pull it together and be a man if I want to achieve anything worth while with my life. No one, I mean it-no one, will be there for you when you are going through the harshest things that can happen to your life. I don't feel at all the desire to close in on myself and hate people. Rather, what I feel is to live like a human and be courageous to face everyday mundane life without bitterness. 

Here are the lessons summarized:

1. Don't lower your standards to anyone, not even to wife or husband or any close person.

2. Stick to your guns.

3. Don't entertain negative thoughts about others and yourself.

4. Know that you have absolutely no reason not to be happy in life.

THE WOLF IN SHEEPSKIN

When you are betrayed by the person you have trusted for so long, it simply makes you cry. You cry like a baby whose mother went shopping. In fact, it does more than that. It breaks your heart and makes you more suspicious. You just don’t know whom to trust anymore. And if what the person did was more than betraying, you can imagine how heartbroken you can be.

All of this was what happen to me the past couple of weeks. One hurt after another came tumbling in from the person I trusted, loved and respected. “Am I so stupid and blind?” was the first question that came to my mind. When the act got under my skin after a while, it burnt me like a furnace. “Why, why, why?”

Then two more days later, I started to think more clearly and stopped reacting to what has been done to me and started to act consciously. I did things that were difficult to do but very rewarding. The actions that I took filled me with the peace I badly needed. It was at this moment that I took note of the lessons I learnt:

1.       Don’t open your heart too widely to anyone.

2.       Ask advice from people that you trust.

3.       Remember there is always some risk to this.

4.       Be willing to take the risk.

5.       Don’t panic and react to a tough situation.

6.       Take the time to be away from the hot spot, if not physically, mentally.

7.       Do good to the one who hurts you.

8.       Trust people.

9.       But don’t let people play with you the way they want.

10.   Mark your boundaries very clearly.

"FAITH IS THE VICTORY!"-In Overcoming Despair

INTRODUCTION

1. In this series I have attempted to show how faith in Jesus gives us
   the victory over such things as:
   a. Sin
   b. Anxiety
   c. Boredom
   d. Depression
   -- For I am persuaded that in overcoming the world and whatever it
      throws our way, "Faith Is The Victory!" - cf. 1Jn 5:4-5

2. Closely related to "depression" is the problem of "despair"...
   a. Those who are depressed are often in a state of despair as well
   b. Despair may be a cause for their depression, or at the least
      making it worse

3. As I hope to illustrate in this study...
   a. Despair (i.e., hopelessness) is a serious problem, not one to be
      taken lightly
   b. It is damaging to our health, our society, and our relationship
      with God
   -- Certainly Christians should seek to dispel despair in their 
      lives, and in the lives of those around them!

[Let me begin, then, by sharing some things I learned in my own study
on the subject of despair...]

I. UNDERSTANDING DESPAIR

   A. DESPAIR DEFINED...
      1. According to the American Heritage Dictionary:  To lose all
         hope; to be overcome by a sense of futility or defeat;
         complete loss of hope
      2. Synonyms for despair include hopelessness, despondency, 
         discouragement
      3. Mark Twain described despair as "...a time when one's spirit
         is subdued and sad, one knows not why; when the past seems a 
         storm-swept desolation, life a vanity and a burden, and the 
         future but a way to death."

   B. THE DANGER OF DESPAIR...
      1. Despair takes its toll on society
         a. According to researchers at the University of Missouri-
            Columbia Health Sciences Center, a lack of hope has been 
            linked to poor behavior in children
         b. As reported by Reuter's Leslie Lang, children with high 
            levels of hopelessness...
            1) Tended to engage in harmful and destructive behavior to 
               themselves and others
            2) Tended to be defiant, refusing to obey rules, take 
               turns, share, and skip school
         c. The researcher quoted indicated that hopelessness may be an
            indicator for children and teens who are prone to act in 
            anti-social or aggressive behavior
      2. Despair takes it toll on your physical health
         a. It can have the same detrimental effect on the heart as 
            smoking a pack of cigarettes, according to a study 
            published in the August, 1997, issue of Arteriosclerosis, 
            Thrombosis, and Vascular Biology,
         b. "a high level of hopelessness exacerbates the 
            atherosclerotic process in middle-aged men" (Dr. Susan A.
            Everson)
         c. I.e.,  it increases the thickness of the arterial walls
      3. Despair is certainly detrimental to one's spiritual health
         a. To be in despair is a slap in the face of God
            1) "He that despairs degrades God." (Owen Felltham, 
               1602-1668)
            2) "When you say a situation or a person is hopeless, you
               are slamming the door in the face of God." (Charles L.
               Allen, 1913- )
            3) "It is impossible for that man to despair who remembers
               that his Helper is omnipotent." (Jeremy Taylor, 
               1613-1667)
         b. To be in despair renders one ineffective in helping others:
            "He that is fallen cannot help him that is down." (unknown)

[The pervasiveness of despair in our society is reflected in the words
of Thoreau:  "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation."  But as
Clare Boothe Luce said, "There are no hopeless situations. There are 
only people who have grown hopeless about them."

Charles Swindoll has said that "Surrendering to despair is man's 
favorite pastime. God offers a better plan, but it takes effort to grab
it and faith to claim it."  With that I agree, and so now wish for us
to consider how...]

II. FAITH IN JESUS HELPS US TO OVERCOME DESPAIR

   A. JESUS PROVIDES HOPE FOR THE HOPELESS...
      1. Through His teachings...
         a. Telling us of God's providential care - Mt 6:30; 7:11;
            10:29-31
         b. Telling us of God's love for the lost - Lk 15:7; Jn 3:16-17
      2. Through His promises...
         a. Telling us of the abundant life He offers - Jn 4:13-14; 
            6:35; 10:10
         b. His promise of the resurrection He offers - Jn 11:23-27
         c. His promise of His return and the place He is preparing 
            - Jn 14:1-3
      3. Through His actions...
         a. His death on the cross provides the hope of our 
            forgiveness!
         b. His resurrection provides the hope for our own 
            resurrection!
      -- Jesus is truly "our hope"! - cf. 1Ti 1:1

   B. THROUGH FAITH IN JESUS, THE CHRISTIAN...
      1. Has hope in God regarding the resurrection - Ac 24:15; cf. 
         1Pe 1:3
      2. Can rejoice in hope regarding the glory to come - Ro 5:1-2
      3. Use the Scriptures as a constant replenisher of hope - Ro 15:4
      4. Can abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit - Ro 15:13;
         Ga 5:5
      5. Has the hope of salvation as a "helmet" to protect our minds 
         - 1Th 5:8
      6. Can look forward to the "blessed hope and glorious appearing
         of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ" - Tit 2:13-14

CONCLUSION

1. It has been said that "Life with Christ is an endless hope, without
   him a hopeless end."
   a. For those who are in Christ, they have every reason to hope!
   b. For those outside of Christ, one can understand why there is 
      often despair!

2. For those in Christ, we are charged to hold fast to our hope...
   a. "but Christ as a Son over His own house, whose house we are if 
      we hold fast the confidence and the rejoicing of the hope firm 
      to the end." - He 3:6
   b. "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering,
      for He who promised is faithful." - He 10:23
   -- And for good reason, for "This hope we have as an anchor of the
      soul, both sure and steadfast..." - He 6:19

Through faith in Jesus, we can hold fast to our hope, and gain the 
victory!

            God be praised, that to believing souls
               Gives light in darkness, comfort in despair!

                        WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE (1564-1616)

Source: Unknown

Free Will

My free will is often tested by me in many different ways. Sometimes I say I'd not do something then the desire to do it arises. The result is a conflict with my self. Shall I do it or not? It's horrible, but it is essential for your own self-respect.

I believe the way you use your free will affects your self-esteem. If you are a man who does what he says, then you trust yourself, and hence, you have a better self-esteem. On the other hand, if you are a man who says he will do something and doesn't keep his word, then obviously you have a low self-esteem.

The best news is that we can train our self-will to become stronger. We make stronger by using it. The way we use it is by adhering to what we said we will do. For example, one who said he will stop smoking should not smoke. If that kills him, he should be happy to die than to smoke. This is a true decision. You decide and you are ready to die for your decision. Do this often. Soon it becomes a second nature.

I decided to walk my talk. What about you?

Champions Know Adversity is the Catalyst of Mental Toughness

"If it weren't for the dark days, we wouldn't know what it is to walk in the light."

Earl Campbell (professional football player)

Champions believe if you remove the adversity, you remove the victory. As a result, they tend to view adversity as a challenge through which learning and growing occurs. Their world view is evident in the way they describe the adversities they face. While average people choose the path of least resistance, world-class performers operate at a higher level of awareness. They understand that stress and struggle are the key factors in becoming mentally tough. While average people watch television and hang out at happy hour, the great ones continue to push themselves mentally and physically to the point of exhaustion. Only then will you see them in rest and recovery situations. Adversity, to average people equal, pain. Adversity, to world-class performers, is their mental training ground. It's how they become mentally tough. Average people scorn adversity. Those who are world class don't welcome adversity; yet they see it as the ultimate catalyst for mental growth, as well as the contrast needed to recognize the beauty of life. 

(177 Mental Toughness Secrets)